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11:14 pm | 11 April 2012

Let Me Choose Happiness

I’m always busy, but lately I’ve realized that I don’t actually fill my days with any necessary business. Nothing’s actually important, yet I’m always running around with not enough time to do anything. It’s a pretty poison, and I’ve fooled myself into thinking I’m more important than I really am.

So, I’m always whining about needing more free time to just live life and be happy. But what’s sadly funny is that, for me, free time is a worse poison than empty business. When I have free time, my mind starts to wonder and that’s when I get really, really sad. This week, I’ve had surprisingly more free time than I should, and this week I’ve also felt unnecessarily unhappy.

I remember Smeltzer always said “correlation doesn’t prove causation,” so maybe it just so happens that I’m unhappy when I have free time. But after empirical evidence of this over years and years, I’m starting to think otherwise.

Please, anyone, help me fill up my time and put my mind to rest. I want the option to choose happiness.

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4:13 am | 19 December 2011

dreamhampton1:

Joyce Vincent was 41 when she was found dead in her home, but she was 38 when she died. For three years, from 2003-2006, her body lay surrounded by Christmas gifts she was planning to wrap; the television still on. How does this happen? Especially to a woman who was social, who two-years prior had a high-powered job at Ernst and Young, who had rubbed elbows with celebrities, and who wanted to get married? That’s what Carol Morley set to find out. But her new documentary film, “Dreams of a Life,” is about more than just Joyce Vincent, a young, beautiful London woman whose parents were from the Caribbean and who no one seemed to miss when she was gone. It’s about life, death, and loneliness.”

This is undeniably fascinating and terrifying. After researching more into this, I’m consequently afraid that something like this could happen to me. And before any naysayers think I’m just being my typical, hard-on-myself self, this girl wasn’t someone who anyone would think would go like this either. This is too sad.

(Source: madamenoire.com, via onehandclap)